Despair to Hope
by laugh4life
Summary: One-shot. Elena's last thoughts and Stefan's emotions as she dies in the season 3 finale. How can Stefan live without his one true love? Rated T just in case. R&R please!


**That finale... both horrific and spectacular. I bawled the last five minutes straight. Seriously, that was the best finale yet. Oh my gosh. Here's a one-shot dedicated to Stefan's feelings as Elena dies, and her last thoughts. I get a little Dr. Suess-y in Stefan's POV so just hold in there please (: Enjoy!**

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**Elena's POV  
**

I'm suffocating. Drowning. I can't think.

My eyes flutter open in the salty water; I taste the grimy liquid and gag on its nauseating flavor. Water fills my mouth and eyes, and I'm choking on my own breaths. My fingers twitch and I yank at my seat belt as I desperately attempt to free myself. Panic sets in and I can feel my heartbeat racing, my pulse growing wildly stronger. My breaths come faster. I struggle as I choke on more water.

It is difficult to keep my eyes open as I turn my head. My hair floats through the water like loose feathers. It flows around my head like a halo.

Shapes blur before me, but I can make out a body.

Dad. I shout for him, shrieking through the sound-proof liquid for somebody, anybody, to help my father. Tears stream down my already-wet face, mixing with the rest of the river. Bubbles of air escape my mouth as I dread what I know is going to happen. I try to hold onto the only oxygen left in my lungs, but it only makes me need to breathe more.

Another shape molds before my eyes. A boy, my age, swimming beside the truck. Hope surges through me. My spirits soar as I think of the hope that my father could have. If only this boy will save him first. I can make out his bright, shining green eyes in the murkiness of the ocean water, and his brown hair. Alarmed that there isn't enough time, I motion toward my father, needing this mysterious man to understand.

Glancing again at the passenger at my side, doubt begins to form in my mind.

Before my very eyes, the man that was my father changes. He becomes my dearest friend.

Matt.

God, Matt.

Surprised and dreading what is to come, I scream as loud as I can. But no one can hear me.

Motioning as much as possible, I try to get the man to save Matt first. My dear Matt. As my eyes flutter for the last time, the man stops hesitating and does as I wish. My eyes close and I'm left with a peaceful smile on my face as I sink into darkness.

**Stefan's POV**

I've officially died this time. Every part of me cracked into a thousand pieces, shattering across the dark landscape. The cold, crisp night air stings my lungs as I heave in oxygen that I don't deserve to have. I see with eyes that shouldn't see; I hear with ears that should be silent. I should be dead.

Not her. No, not Elena.

The water clouded, just as my memories did. I couldn't distinguish between right and wrong as we floated beneath the murky water. It was Elena then and Elena now. They were no different, yet drastically so. I wouldn't do for Elena then what I did for her now. I wouldn't answer her wishes if it meant risking her very life. Though that is exactly what I did.

As always, there are dreadful consequences for every action.

The water now clings to my clothes, freezing and damp, chilling me to the bones that I can still feel. My hands slip through her soaking hair, running up and down arms that will never move again. I kiss the blue lips that I love so desperately; I look into the still face of the soul that I have never stopped loving. The person I loved like no other; the person that I truly felt alive with. Dead.

I howl through the night, with my anger and despair, upset that my one true love left me here. Why does this happen? Why her? Why now? How can I stop it? Go back, somehow?

I press down hard on her chest, hopefully pumping up blood. Repeatedly checking a silent pulse for any hope. After thirty minutes, I know that it's useless. I know that there is no way, no possible way, I could be wrong. So I slump to the ground out of anguish and remorse, lost in her looks and my thoughts of what could have been different.

If only I had done this, or only done that. If only I had promised farther in advance. If only I had told her just how much I had loved her. If only she knew how true it really was. If only she chose to throw me out. How different things would be at this moment right now. We'd lead separate lives. She would be sitting in front of a fire, and I sharing cheers with my brother. She'd be rejoicing over the choices for college, not stuck underwater. She wouldn't be drowning.

If only she had chose differently.

Like a well-worn road, I'm trampled on. I'm the only toy left alone. When everything else fades away, all that is left are these shades of gloomy gray. There is nothing more to live for, nothing more to see. I'm done; I'm over. What is left for me?

Suddenly, all the goals I have seem so petty. All the wishes I have seem to be childish. If there was only one thing I could have, it would be to change this night. To have her back, despite what she might choose.

If she was alive, she might love him. But that I could bear, for at least she would be here. With her gone, there is so much I can't imagine. How do I go on from here? Could I even?

With my head in my hands, I shriek into the pitch blackness of the night. With my nails pressing into my palms, I squirm from outrage and bitterness. Curses flow in a steady stream through the midnight air; uprooted trees and wooden boards from the old Wickery Bridge litter the ground. There is no way I can live; I map my death out.

At sunrise, I'll yank off my ring and stand tall. For Elena, I'll give it all.

There is nothing I wanted more. But now that it is gone, there is nothing else left. I could have anything, anything at all. But now I don't want it. So I'll give it all up.

When the sun comes up with its shining rays of hope, I'll watch it creep across the horizon until it meets my feet. Then, I will step further and further, not crumbling to defeat. I shall do what is right. And then will I reach peace, with my love at my side in everlasting life.

Suddenly, my thoughts are revoked as a breath hits the air. And hope rushes back in one big white glare. Could it be or are my eyes deceiving me? And her eyes snap open in a look of wonder. Her big brown doe eyes draw me right in, and in a flash I know.

There is hope after all.

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**Hopefully this wasn't too terrible. This episode really got to me, and evoked a rhyme-y sort of writing that I haven't seen in a long time. Oh, well. I wrote this in a half an hour. I hope it was as emotion filled as I tried to make it. **

**Thoughts? (:**


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